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Are You Lying to Yourself?

When we act like everything in our life is perfect, especially to our friends, we're not just putting up a front for them. We're also telling ourselves that we're not good enough as we are. If we really felt good about ourselves, we'd be okay with sharing our true selves, including our weaknesses and mistakes. But often, we feel we're not good enough, so we try to show a better version of ourselves. This can actually make us feel worse about ourselves. 
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I Trust You

I was in the moment of despair and doubt. Irrational conclusions about life kept popping in my mind. I can't help but ask ... is this really the way of God? 

I am wondering, but at the same time hoping. Hoping that my questions will be answered ... might be entertained. 

God blesses me abundance for so many years, and now ... he is pruning me. I am not sure of the reason, but I want to trust the process. I know this time is not just because he doesn't love me, but I know this is happening because he cares. 

He cares that I had no proper vacation for all the years I was working as a freelancer. Rest was out of the option whenever I am working. He knows that during my rest days, I can't rest... I know he is watching... he is watching me with his merciful and healing heart. 

I understand now. God want me to rest. 

Rest and recover ... that must be the plan. 






Though I am still unsure, but that is how I'm feeling right now. I need to learn how to slow down, take a look outside. Do things beyond what I can do in front of my computer. Enjoy life. 

The question now is, "Lord, I don't really have a clue what rest is?" ... "am I really allowed to rest? .... be still? ... finally do dolce far niente?" 

But I have responsibilities, my family depends on me ... and I ... I am depending on you. 

Help me Lord, I am lost ... very lost and seemingly don't know where life is taking me. 

But I trust you ... I will trust you ... 

I will trust your will my Lord ... may your will be done here on Earth as it is in heaven. 
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