eunoia de fleur

When we act like everything in our life is perfect, especially to our friends, we're not just putting up a front for them. We're also telling ourselves that we're not good enough as we are. If we really felt good about ourselves, we'd be okay with sharing our true selves, including our weaknesses and mistakes. But often, we feel we're not good enough, so we try to show a better version of ourselves. This can actually make us feel worse about ourselves. 

"Do not invalidate my feelings!"  Sounds familiar? has someone told you that recently? ... have you happened to invalidate someone's feeling and thinking that you just want to boost them to see the other side of the coin?  According to Happiness Tip, research shows that when we validate our loved ones' emotions, they receive a considerable bump in long-term well-being. However, we seem to have strong drive to do exactly the opposite and invalidate their feelings. We want to tell them they're overreacting. We want them to see that they're seeing the situation incorrectly. We may just want them to stop having that feelings altogether and take our advice for solving the problem.  Instead, we need to realize that these situations are really a test for us. Do we pass the test by validating feelings and deepening the bond? or do we fail the test by falling into the invalidation trap and damaging the bond?  So the next time you feel like responding "sobrang OA!...

 

Take one day at a time