Skip to main content

Are You Lying to Yourself?

When we act like everything in our life is perfect, especially to our friends, we're not just putting up a front for them. We're also telling ourselves that we're not good enough as we are. If we really felt good about ourselves, we'd be okay with sharing our true selves, including our weaknesses and mistakes. But often, we feel we're not good enough, so we try to show a better version of ourselves. This can actually make us feel worse about ourselves. 
Post a Comment

The Invalidation Trap

"Do not invalidate my feelings!" 


Sounds familiar? has someone told you that recently? ... have you happened to invalidate someone's feeling and thinking that you just want to boost them to see the other side of the coin? 


According to Happiness Tip, research shows that when we validate our loved ones' emotions, they receive a considerable bump in long-term well-being. However, we seem to have strong drive to do exactly the opposite and invalidate their feelings. We want to tell them they're overreacting. We want them to see that they're seeing the situation incorrectly. We may just want them to stop having that feelings altogether and take our advice for solving the problem. 


Instead, we need to realize that these situations are really a test for us. Do we pass the test by validating feelings and deepening the bond? or do we fail the test by falling into the invalidation trap and damaging the bond? 




So the next time you feel like responding "sobrang OA!" on a Klarisse level. Maybe we should pause for a bit, think for a second ... because we might be responding badly in somewhat already bad situation kind of day for someone. 


Let's not normalize the sobrang OA feels, because we don't know if a person is acting in a certain way because of their past experiences. 


Can you think of times when you validated feelings? What about times when you didn't?  


Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

MOVIE: The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel

Movie about British pensioners who moved to a retirement home in India where they got a new lease of life.  Here's some quotes from The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel the movie.  in India, we have a saying...  "Everything will be alright in the end. So if it's not all right, then it is not yet the end." ~ Sonny  _*-*_*-*_ I love this quote from when their friend died ... and it was his last request to die in India in the presence of his one true love.  "Is it our friend we are grieving for,  whose life we knew so little or is it our own loss that we are mourning?  Have we travelled far enough that we can allow our tears to fall?"  ~Evelyn  "When someone dies, you think about your own life" ~Madge  _*-*_*-*_ about living in India  "The way people see life as a privilege and not as a right"  ~The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel _*-*_*-*_ Above all, I love the ending line of Evelyn as the movie comes to a conclusion  "The only real f...
1 comment
Read more

Standing with the Philippines: Our Hearts Go Out to the Victims of Super Typhoon UWAN

​The recent passage of Super Typhoon UWAN (known internationally as Fung-Wong) has left a devastating trail across the Philippines, particularly impacting communities still recovering from earlier storms. Our hearts ache for the millions of individuals and families who are now grappling with loss, displacement, and the monumental task of recovery. ​The Scale of the Struggle ​UWAN was a ferocious storm, bringing catastrophic winds, torrential rain, and massive flooding to vast areas across Luzon and the Visayas. The human cost is immense: ​ Mass Displacement: Over 2.4 million people across 15 regions have been affected, with hundreds of thousands displaced from their homes, many now sheltering in evacuation centers. ​ Hardest Hit Areas: The impact has been particularly severe in the Bicol Region (with Catanduanes reported as one of the hardest-hit provinces), Oriental Mindoro , Aurora , Isabela , and the Cordillera Administrative Region . Reports detail widespread ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Resilience Self-talk

My internal dialog no longer focuses on my weaknesses. Instead, it focuses on my strengths. I frequently remind myself that I can handle more than I bare.
Post a Comment
Read more